After looking back and reflecting on my two essays, I can with confidence say that I have identified both weaknesses and strengths in my writing.
My strengths laid in my transition sentences in my Julius Caesar essay. I successfully tied my paragraphs together in a way that made sense. Unfortunately I also had some weaknesses that I need to improve on. I need to improve on writing my concluding sentences. This is something I struggled with in my Alchemist essay. My ideas were all over the place, and my conclusion was rather confusing that helpful for the reader.
In order to write proper essays, organization is needed, which some of my writing had. I used correct "essay structure" when writing my essays. I begun with thesis statement, used conclusions in the end of each paragraph and ended with one main conclusion in the end to summarize my writing. Luckily, I had some mistakes as well that helped me think of ways to improve. What I can do to improve is mostly to focus on my concluding sentences. I need to practice making them more interesting, helping me leave the reader with a good feeling after having read my essay.
When looking back at my two essays from grade 8, I can say with confidence that I have improved quite a lot. When I say I have improved a lot, I don't mean because I got a higher score. My vocabulary has improved, making the essay more interesting, as well as my ability to wrap up my ideas into a few sentences instead of a whole paragraph.
Reason Critically.I used this SLR when writing my essays, especially when writing my conclusions. I wanted to find a way to successfully summarize my writing and to not disappoint my reader.
written by lea at 10:17 PM
(Image from:www.emwimmler.wordpress.com)
“A curse shall light upon the limbs of men; Domestic fury and fierce civil strife
shall cumber all parts of Italy”(pg 124) These words were spoken by Antony, which showedd a new side of him and showed what he was willing to do for Caesar.
His friendship with Caesar and loath for the conspirators gave him two motivators for his wanting to destroy Rome –love and revenge.
Antony thought of Caesar as his best friend and great ruler of Rome. He never feared for Caesars death, as he assumed everyone in Rome saw him the same way as he did. “I shall not find myself so apt to die: No place will please me so, no mean of death, as here by Caesar.” (pg.116)When the conspirators killed Caesar, Antony wanted to die too, and to be killed with the same weapon that killed his beloved leader. He could not understand why his best friend had to be killed, and assumed that the conspirators were murderers and that they were going to kill him as well. When he realized no one had any intention of killing him, Antony took advantage of Brutus trust. He wanted to speak at Caesars funeral, and joined the conspirators in order to get permission to do so. Even though Brutus spoke at Caesars funeral too, Antony managed to get the Romans on his side. “You all did love him once, not without cause; What cause withholds you then to mourn for him? O judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts, and men have lost their reason. Bear with me. My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, and I must pause till it come back to me.”(pg.134) He used this as his conclusion in his speech to show the Romans how much he loved his friend and how Caesar had not deserved to be assassinated. The Romans realized how fond Antony was of Caesar and how he spoke of the truth. Antony successfully turned his fellow countrymen against some of the noblest men of Rome.
He was a true friend and had a talent for public speaking, but what Antony’s most strong desire was, after the council of Rome was assassinated, was to get revenge.
When the news of Caesars death reached him, Antony was furious. He could not believe someone actually wanted to assassinate Rome’s great ruler. He was hungry for revenge. He wanted to somehow prove that killing Caesar only made things worse for Rome. When Brutus came to him and explained how the conspirators’ action was noble and honorable, Antony decided to join them, in order for his plan to work. “O pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth, that I am meek and gentle with these butchers. Blood and destruction shall be so in use, and dreadful objects so familiar, that mothers shall but smile when they behold their infants quartered with the hands of war.” (pg. 124)Antony was disgusted with himself for even talking to Caesars murderers. His range and fury caused him to become a little insane. He wanted to destroy Rome and rebuild it to honor Caesars death. He successfully started a war in Italy. “But if I were Brutus, and Brutus Antony, there were an Antony would ruffle up your spirits, and put a tongue in every wound of Caesar that should move the stones of Rome to rise and mutiny” (pg.142) Octavius and his soldiers, in addition to the Romans, joined him. Brutus realized that his act was not honorable and that it did not unify Rome, like he had hoped. Antony did not want to kill Brutus, but when he reached him, he had already taken his own life. Antony thought of Brutus as the noblest man of Rome, because he thought of others instead of his own needs.
Antony showed a new side of himself by planning to destroy Italy and showed how far he was willing to go for Caesar. His love for Caesar and hunger for revenge on the conspirators motivated him for his wanting to destroy Rome. Antony partly achieved his goal –he destroyed Rome, but Brutus was killed in the process, which was not part of the plan. Antony only wanted to destroy Rome so it could be rebuilt to honor his best friend. I believe his goal was worthy because his best friend and leader was assassinated without a reason to make Rome a better place. I think Antony had the right to show the Romans and conspirators that killing Caesar did not help Rome in any way at all.
written by lea at 5:53 PM
The Lost Boys of Sudan –My Collage
Think Creatively!
I used the layout of the poster to send a message to the audience, using words and pictures. I used the words “Hope, misery, love, brotherhood& war.” My collage did not have any specific “order”, but I made one side with positive images and one side with negative images. I did this to show the two sides of the Lost Boys situation –they have been through a lot, but there is still hope for them. To send a message to the audience, I used pictures and text, and I used specific layout on the poster.
Reason Critically!
I wanted my audience to have sympathy towards the Lost Boys, so I chose strong images to connect with the audience. I categorized the images into the positive and negative section of the poster. The negative side will have a stronger effect on the audience, because all of the images are sad. An example is the picture I put of an African soldier, crying. To get my audience’s sympathy for the Lost Boys, I chose images to connect with the audience.
Communicate Effectively!
My collage creates awareness for the Lost Boys’ plight through images and text. I used some strong images to represent the positive and negative things the boys have been going through. The text I used was only single words that supported the images. The poster shows that I know what the boys have been going through, but that I also know that there is still hope for them.
Live Ethically!
Explain how you think your collage demonstrated empathy and might evoke an emotional response from your viewers and/or incite them to act. I think my collage demonstrated empathy through the 6-word- memoir and through the negative pictures. Some of my negative pictures have quite a strong message, and will evoke an emotional response from the audience.
written by lea at 7:36 AM
War and misery has been following the African boy, Peter, since the civil war started between the North and South of Sudan. He fortunately escapes from his village and ends up in a refugee camp. The refugee camp is supported by an organization in USA, and the organization arranges for Peter to move to America (migrate).
When Peter first arrives in Huston in America, he is convinced he has landed in heaven. He discovers only after a few days, that he was wrong. Peter has a lot of difficulties settling in America. There are so many things that he does not understand. The Americans are treating him like he is a criminal. He has 3 meals in a day instead of 2. He is not allowed to drive without a license. He cannot hold another man’s hand in public without being accused of being homosexual. Peter finds this all very confusing, but manages to learn and accept this after some struggle. He has a problem though –he yearns for an education. Peter’s greatest wish is to get an education and go to college, so that he can get a real job. All his friends from Africa that comes with him ends up working in factories or in junk food restaurants. Peter does not want to become like his friends. He leaves Huston and drives to Kansas. Fortunately, the high school he applies to accepts him. Peter is under a lot of pressure during his high school year as a senior. His family back in Sudan is pressuring him to send them more money. Peter desperately wants to help his family, but in between school, homework and sleeping, he just cannot find the time to get the money his family needs. He completes high school and graduates.
Peter struggles himself through his life in America, a life he earlier had assumed would be easy. Even though it was hard, he manages to achieve his dream and all his struggles did not go to waste.
written by lea at 4:01 AM